REDDISH RECESSION RECOILS REFULGENT RACEHORSES

Nishikanto: - Arrey, Dibakar! What are you doing here? I am seeing you after 6 years. Last time, we met each other in the Kolkata Book Fair.

Dibakar: - Actually, my son Arindam has got the chance to study in IIM Kolkata. This is his first day. I just came here to see the IIM campus. In our times, we never got the chance to study in IIM.

Nishikanto: - I also came here to visit the IIM campus. My daughter Sunita is also going to study here. The IIM-Kolkata campus is really good. By the way, Indian Overseas Bank has done a huge loss in this quarter. That’s so sad. You are the senior manager of IOB, but, still IOB is in loss!

Dibakar: - I have also heard that TCS has suffered a huge setback in its BFSI sector. 3 major BFSI clients of TCS have decided to work with Infosys. You are a Senior Project Delivery Head, but still all the clients are going out. That’s not acceptable.

Nishikanto: - Oh! At this age, we are still fighting with each other as we used to do in our school days, he he he…

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Nishikanto: - Hello, Dibakar. Hey, I have received your son’s wedding invitation card. He is going to marry a girl, whose name is Nilima. Is it an arrange marriage?

Dibakar: - Yeah, it’s an arranged one. Nilima is a child’s specialist.

Nishikanto: - As far as I know, your son Arindam was one of the worst students of IIM Kolkata. He failed in one semester and had to give a re-examination later on to pass. He was not selected for the campus recruitment due to his poor marks. As far as I know, he joined an Indian subsidiary unit of Morgan Stanley on a contractual basis for 6 months. Boss, your son is not having any permanent job and he is getting married. Very funny!

Dibakar: - Last year, Bank of Baroda recruited my son for the post of Assistant Manager. That recruitment drive was for the full time Post-Graduate or Professional degree holders only. Now, he has a job security. The Bank is a reputed one. His posting is in Kolkata only. As he is from IIM Kolkata, the Bank is providing him a handsome salary of 35,000 bucks per month. That’s enough for him at present. In later stage, he will get promotion on a frequent basis. Yes, you may say that after passing out from IIM, he is working in a PSU Bank. That is not fair. But, a Scale –II position in a PSU Bank is far better than any Junior Management post in private company.

Nishikanto: - Dibakar, my daughter Sunita was among the top ten students in IIM Kolkata. She got the job of Research Analyst in Lehman Brothers from the campus recruitment drive only. She now earns around 90,000 bucks per month if I do the valuation of her salary in INR. Your son is a loser like you only.

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Mr. Sansani: - Breaking News! Lehmann Brothers have become bankrupt. USA media reporters confirmed that all the employees of Lehmann Brothers have lost their job because Lehmann Brothers do not exist now.

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Dibakar: - Arrey, Nishikanto! you? What a pleasure for me? After 34 years, you are visiting my house. Come inside and sit down on the sofa.

Nishikanto: - I am sorry for the way I behaved with you. Now, my daughter’s life has been shattered. She married a NRI businessman in USA. Due to some professional ego problems, Sunita has become a divorcee like me. Now, she is looking for Government jobs in India. Can you just give me the name of that training institute where your son used to study for competitive exams?

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Arindam: - Dad, BOB written exam for Assistant Manager post, has been cleared by Sunita. I will be in that interview panel. I will make sure that she does not get this job.

Dibakar: - Avoid taking partial decisions. Be neutral. If she performs well in the interview, give her good marks in the interview. You should learn to differentiate between personal and professional life.

Arindam: - Dad, Sunita is back to square one despite being a better student than me in IIM. This phenomenon can be termed as “REDDISH RECESSION RECOILS REFULGENT RACEHORSES”.

GYAAN - PAAPI GYANAECOLOGISTS

Subir: - I am in tension nowadays about my wife. Last week, Dr. Vimal told me that it will be a normal delivery for Nilima, but today he told me that a scissor operation is required, otherwise she will face severe complications. I avoided public hospitals because the doctors of public hospitals have a tendency to go for scissor operations in normal delivery cases also. But, the doctors of private hospitals also adopt the similar policy to charge more money from the relatives of the patients by performing the scissor operations.

Manilal: - Is Dr. Vimal, a reputed doctor?

Subir: - Yeah, he is a very famous doctor of our city. He has studied from a reputed Russian University. Now, of course, a person who has learnt about medical science from Russia is better than a doctor passing out from our Indian Medical Institutes.

Arindam: - Ha ha ha…you are talking like a rickshaw puller now. Rickshaw pullers of India still have a perception that if ‘Made in China’ or ‘Made in Japan’ is printed on any product, then it is always of better quality than any Indian product. But, it is not always true. Don’t underestimate the Indian Medical Institutes. At present, India is in 4th position in the rate of advancement in medical sciences. Moreover, people from western countries come to India for major operations, because it is less expensive as well as more secure.

Subir: - Anyway, I have no other options at this level. I have to rely on Dr. Vimal only.

Manilal: - It is not that scissor operations are always risky. But, after that operation, your wife needs to take extra care about her health, especially, if both of you want to reproduce another baby in future. Accha, one thing, I must tell you. Make sure that any old-aged female member of your family is present when the scissor operations will be going on in the hospital. Many a times, it happens that when a baby comes out of its mother’s womb, it does not cry. Even the nurses and the doctor fail to make it cry. At that moment, an old woman is very handy. The old women are expert in making a baby cry instantly. They know the age-old tactics.

Arindam: - Yeah, yeah, I have seen a scene in the film ‘3 Idiots’, where Aamir Khan was desperately trying to make the baby cry. What is the significance of that cry?

Manilal: - When a baby remains inside its mother’s womb, it gets used to some particular sounds. It does not have any idea of the external environment. But, when it comes out from its mother’s womb, its brain has to do initial booting to let its entire body know that it has arrived in a new destination, where it has to live till it dies. That cry is the indication that the brain has completed its booting and has sent stimuli to all the nerves of the body that the soul is ready to rock in this world. Now, there is a game behind it. The mapping needs to be done very fast. Actually, our human brain is like an Intel processor. It also has certain speed to do the processing and computations. Now, how you can increase that speed? It is by reacting faster to any external responses. As per biological calculations, a baby should cry within 159 seconds, after its birth. Maximum 183 seconds is tolerable. If a baby cries after 183 seconds, then its brain will have a retarded growth.

Subir: - Ha ha ha…You are just saying craps to me. What all rubbish things you say, man?

Manilal: - You can laugh at me. But, what I am saying is the truth. My daughter is an abnormal at this age of 15 also, because my daughter cried after 321 seconds of her birth. Nowadays, doctors will show you that your baby is crying after 5 minutes of its birth. As an illiterate person, you will say, ‘Oh! My baby has cried. That’s enough.’ But, has your baby cried within 3 minutes of its birth? No one checks out that. All the doctors are aware of this theory, but still they act like “GYAAN-PAAPI GYANAECOLOGISTS” to suppress their failures to make the baby cry within 3 minutes after its birth in many cases.