BUSY BIBI BAZAAR'S BLACK BITCH BHAIRAVI (B6)

Arindam: - My goodness, you have so many English Novel books at your table. Believe me, I have also not read these novels. I have limited knowledge only about the books of Enid Blaydon and Ruskin Bond, baash, after class VII; I have hardly issued any novels from our Julien Day School library. But, today, I am amazed to see that you are fond of reading novels. That proves that you are from an educated family. Are you an English graduate?

Bhairavi: - No, before I could complete my graduation, destiny took me here. But, I studied in missionary school since my childhood, which is why; I am very good in English.

Arindam: - Anyway, it was a nice evening with you. Let me go now. Good night.

Bhairavi: - Very strange? You have not asked me, how I came here?

Arindam: - Sorry, I am not interested in that. I have given you money; you have fulfilled my hunger, that’s all.

Bhairavi: - Ha ha ha, you are a very selfish guy, but you are not so bad like them. I was in my first year of my graduation college, when my father’s factory got closed. As usual, the financial condition of my family was not so good, but still my father started a tailoring and meat shop to do some earnings. The people of that locality suggested him to get me married with someone. After all, at that time I was above 18 years of age and this is Indian society. Hey, do you like chocolates? Take this. This is a new type of Éclairs; you will like it and please sit beside me for some time.

Arindam: - see the fun, this dog has never come across with such a strange bitch like you. Anyway, let me eat this chocolate. You can carry on with your life story. It is also a kind of time pass for me.

Bhairavi: - Many people came to see me, but I got rejected for 23 times, because I am a dark-skinned girl. My parents became frustrated. People of the locality started commenting about me. God created me as a black woman, where is my fault? But, after 1 month, surprisingly, one boy of my college proposed me. I was stunned but was equally happy, because at least someone has accepted me as a woman. Everyone used to do mockery that I look like a black monkey.

Arindam: - aha, your skin is black, but your face cutting is very sweet. Arrey, have you not heard that famous song, ‘hum kaaley hain toh kya hua, dilwale hai’.

Bhairavi: - uuh, that song is only applicable for males. An ugly boy always gets a beautiful girl, if he has money, but no one accepts a dark-skinned girl so easily in this society.

Arindam: - You are not married? By the way, your boyfriend has accepted you, naah, then why are you are? What is the story behind it?

Bhairavi: - Actually, that boy proposed this black monkey; because he was a broker of this red light area and he wanted a new performer for his sex racket. Basically, he is a recruiter of call girls.

Arindam: - Why are you telling these things to me? What will I do, after listening to your tragic stories? Am I telling you my tragic stories? Then, why are you forcefully telling your story to me?

Bhairavi: - Because you are my first customer, who have not uttered a single slang language to me, so far. All my other customers come here and utter so many slangs to me. I have no friends here. Only these English novels are my friends. I buy these books from the footpath stalls of Abids and Koti. No one kisses me also, like you were doing in your excited mode. Everyone is interested in my lower point and they just do it and within 10-15 minutes, either they go back to their destination or goes to sleep. You have already spent 45 minutes in my small room. That proves that you are my new friend, not a customer. I am a black bitch, but at least you are a handsome dog. Why do you visit these places, dear?

Arindam: - If someone has transformed you into a bitch, then someone has also transformed me into a dog, and how can a dog ignore its female gender, dear. You have targeted my emotions, dear. Let me kiss you again, you deserve it. I will never forget this night with “BUSY BIBI BAZAARS’ BLACK BITCH BHAIRAVI (B6)”.

SOUTH INDIANS ARE EMOTIONAL PEOPLE

Vinay: - This is a very common problem in South India. Whenever, an actor dies, people just get mad. Some runs on fire, some fights with police. Really, this is a height of craziness.

Swapnil: - Yeah, really boss. In our states, many heavyweights die, but we don’t become so much emotional about it. We just pay tribute to that person; maybe, we just go and see his or her dead body, that’s all.

Venkat: - You people are from North India, that is why, you people are regarding these things as madness. I am very aware of those North Indian cultures. In North India, a human is treated as a forest animal only. Every day or the other, goons are murdering innocent persons in Delhi and NCR regions. What to say about UP, Bihar and Jharkhand. It is like hell.

Arindam: - at least, our West Bengal is not like that.

Jignesh: - Better don’t talk about your West Bengal. The districts of West Midnapore, Bankura, Birbhum and Purulia are like second Afghanistan. You, as a RSS supporter, criticize all those Taliban and Jihadists, he he he…boss, your people of West Bengal are the No. 1 anti-socials of India, whether it is CPI(M) cadre or TMC worker or Maoists, but the brutal truth is all top notch anti-socials are in West Bengal only. What is the guarantee that terrorists from Bangladesh are not hiding in Kolkata and its adjoining areas?

Vinay: - Today only, I have seen in a news channel that in Kolkata itself, a woman killed his own 13 year old son, as a frustration over her husband. Where a mother kills her own son, then what to say about that state?

Arindam: - Ok, I have nothing to comment on that. I agree that West Bengal is one of the top anti-social states of India, but it surely ranks below Jharkhand, Bihar, UP and Delhi, that much I can assure you.

Rhea: - See, violence is everywhere in this world. But, all violence has its own valid reasons. But, in South India, there is no reason for violence at all. From a silly Telangana issue to a death of Kannada actor, everywhere there is violence.

Venkat: - Madam, there is a difference between North Indian violence and South Indian violence. I am not talking about Veerappan or the LTTE violence. They were just demons. I am talking about the violence in local areas of South India. In those violence, you will find that no person gets killed or murdered. Maybe, buses are burnt, glasses are broken, some may be hurt, but no one will die. Madam, our South Indian people belongs to educated class. Majority of them have at least done their graduation from any reputed universities. Those educated people never do open firings like that happens in Gurgaon, Noida, Delhi & NCR regions.

Jignesh: - Arrey, in our North India, almost every businessman has their own licensed guns. So, for protecting themselves, they have to fire bullets at anti-socials, otherwise, they will not survive also.

Arindam: - No, boss, I don’t agree with you. Forget about West Bengal. I am also fed up with that state. But, in North India also, a goon becomes a businessman in his later stages. Now, as a businessman, he also works like a sophisticated anti-social. Now, in a bull-fight, anyone can die and that’s what happens. But, in those firings, sometimes, innocent people also die. That is a big question mark. That is why, a professional of any company is very much skeptical to go and settle in North India, with his wife and children. To that extent, I will say that Gujarat, Maharashtra and South Indian states are very much safe, except that Mr. Thackeray of Mumbai. One thing, you have to appreciate that South Indian people may look black and rough by nature, but they have education inside their belly. They know how to behave with people and understand the essence of a healthy society. When they regard someone as their icon, they try to transform their own characters into that form.

Venkat: - Exactly and that is why, Rajanikanth is like our God in Tamil Nadu. We believe in the image of a superhero, who will destroy the evil forces and act as a savior of poor and innocent people. That is why; we become too much emotional, when our iconic heroes die. Arindam, I am proud to say that “SOUTH INDIANS ARE EMOTIONAL PEOPLE”.

MANDIRA MOLESTATION MAMLA

Urvashi: - Just a second. Please be seated there. Let me call Mr. Yamraaj. Hello, Sir.

Yamraaj: - Yeah, tell me, Urvashi, what happened?

Urvashi: - Sir, Mr. Harsha Bhogle, the reporter of Swarga TV Channel of planet Earth wants to meet you. At present, he is waiting at our reception hall only. Will I send him in?

Yamraaj: - Yeah, of course. Let him come in. But, don’t provide any permission to any reporter coming from Pandora and Satanic planet. There is some violence going on between the species of those two planets.

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Harsha: - Hello Sir, how are you?

Yamraaj: - I am fine as usual, but, suddenly, you are here. What’s the matter, boss?

Harsha: - Sir, you must be aware of the fact that all the media channels of India are very much concerned about the suicide case of Mandira.

Yamraaj: - Oho, you are talking of Indian media channels. Hmm…yeah, Mandira is in jail of our hell, as she has done a serious sin by committing suicide. As you know the fact that the persons who commit suicide do not get re-birth for the next 15 years. Their souls remain in the jail of our hell for 15 years. If you want, you can meet her also. By the way, what is the case actually? Why there is so hot news about Mandira?

Harsha: - Actually, Sir, she was molested by a high-profile person and that is the reason, why she committed suicide. Now, as it has become a known fact, everyone is demanding severe punishment for that molester.

Yamraaj: - But, victims like Mandira should not commit suicide for those reasons. They should tell the truth to everyone, for seeking proper justice. But, there is a havoc problem with the Indian society and especially the legal system of India. The system is as slow as the sleepy Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Take the case of Kasav only. A terrorist is treated like a national hero and an Indian commando is treated like a street dog. After 26/11, I also felt sorry to take the souls of those Indian people who died in the encounter. Those were completely unnatural and shocking deaths. I am just waiting for the death of Kasav. Other countries would have given him a death sentence by now. Anyway, in this Mandira case, what is the status now? Is that culprit punished or not?

Harsha: - No Sir, that person has not got his punishment, yet. Actually, there are some flaws in the sexual harassment law itself. That is why, he is still secure. But, now, there will be a new sexual harassment law, where the culprit will not be provided any anticipatory bails and the case will be resolved within 6 months of the date of complaints.

Yamraaj: - What is the guarantee that a girl will always speak the truth. Suppose, a girl is my enemy, and she will bring false allegations against me about sexual harassment, then I will be in jail for 6 months, without doing anything.

Harsha: - No, Sir, if it is proved that a girl has made false allegations of sexual harassment against you, then she will be jailed for 3 years. Anyway, Sir, I came here to request you that please release Mandira from the jail of hell and give her soul a re-birth.

Yamraaj: - No, the rule is rule. You are not supposed to commit suicide. It is a sin and it will be punishable in jail. Your soul has to bear that for next 15 years after your death.

Harsha: - Sir, why don’t you punish the molester of Mandira. You can kill him in a very natural way. Heart attack and Brain strokes are your weapons to kill anyone at anytime.

Yamraaj: - Let me keep an eye on “MANDIRA MOLESTATION MAMLA”, and then I will surely do the needful. Don’t worry, Harsha. Anyway, wish you a very happy new year of 2010. Good Bye for now.

GREEDY KIDNAPPERS !!!

Manirul: - Then, you have no idea at all, boss. The father of Sirajul has a property, whose valuation is of 40 crores. I have got the information from an Income Tax consultant of our area.

Asraful:- dekh Ishfaq, already hum logon ney Don sey 32 lakhs udhaar liye hain, yeh broking agency kholney ke liye…aab hum logon ka broking company loss mein jaa raha hai yaar, profit toh door ki baath hai…already, we have to pay margin money to our clients, aur woh bhi around 6 lakhs.

Ishfaq: - I have never told you people to borrow money from the Don of our city. I told you people earlier to approach any banks for this purpose. Thik hai, loan ka amount kam hotaa, but we would have got the time to repay back our loan in EMI scheme for around 5 years. Aab kahan se paisa laaoon, already Don bhai ka bhi threat aa chukka hain. Within 28^th October, we have to repay back the money.

Javed: - I have one idea. That will be somewhat risky, but it is the only way that can save our lives, otherwise, the goons of Don bhai will kill us.

Manirul: - What is that plan? Are you planning to kidnap Sirajul?

Javed: - Exactly, I am thinking of that plan only. When you told us about Sirajul’s father’s property valuation, that time, I understood that you are also planning to kidnap him.

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Mr. Sansani: - Hello viewers, today on 14^th October, a teenager has been kidnapped and the kidnappers demanded Rs. 50 lakhs. The name of the kidnapped person is Sirajul. India is surely becoming an insecure place to live in. We will come back with this news in details, but after this commercial break. Till then, just stay tuned.

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Police Commissioner: - Hello, kya kartey ho tum log. Ek laash mila hai tumharey ilaakey sey. Already, the local people have complained about it. Abhi tak tum log gaye nahi woh laash ko collect karney. Jhakh marney aur shoney ke liye paisa milta hai kya tum logon ko. Now, just go.

Inspector Arindam: - Yes, Sir, we are going.

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Mr. Sansani: - My goodness; the four kidnappers killed the kidnapped person, because they were not happy with just 5 lakhs. This is just ridiculous. We will come up with the detailed story, but after a break. Keep an eye on our special show.

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Ashraful: - kya jaroorat tha, Sirajul ko maarney ki. Acchey khasey 5 lakhs toh mil raha tha. Now, we have to do New Year celebration in Jail only.

Manirul: - aur koi chara bhi toh nahi tha…ek toh paisa bhi kam diya, aur woh saala Sirajul mera thobhraa dekh liya tha. Mera mask uskey saamney girh gaya tha. Tere ko kya lagta hai, ussh Sirajul ko hum chorh detey toh woh apun logon ka naam nahi bol detaa police ko? If we would have got 40 lakhs, then we could have again revived our broking agency as well as we could have repaid back the loans of Don bhai.

Ishfaq: - Don bhai ka aadmi log buddhu thorai naa hain. They have informed the Police, that we kidnapped Sirajul and killed him. Ashraful is right. We would have taken that 5 lakhs only and then we could have fled from this city. At least, murder case main jail toh nahi jaana parta, aur Sirajul bhi baach jaata saala. Gussey mein aake thokh diya usko tumne. Galat kaam kiya hai tumne. Basically, our greatest fault was that we were “GREEDY KIDNAPPERS”.