Friday, July 23, 2010

SWINE FLU IN KOLKATA !!!

Palash:- Have you people heard the news?

Rakesh:- What news?

Palash:- Already 33 people on Kolkata are suffering from Swine flu and out of them 1 person has already died.

Rakesh:- Dhhussh! These are all rumors. Swine flu virus has been wiped out from India.

Palash:- No, Rakesh, it is back again and this time it has started spreading in Kolkata in a very deadly form.

Rakesh:- I need to check about the authenticity of the news.

Arindam:- No, Rakesh. You don’t need to do that because Palash is giving you the correct information. The HIN5 virus had mutated itself and is going to spread as a new avatar if some medical steps are not taken immediately.

Rakesh:- The Health Minister of Bengal is just a useless fellow. If 33 people are already suffering from Swine flu, then why the health minister of Bengal is still sitting quietly and watching the tamasha. Where is Mamata Banerjee? People are dying in swine flu, can’t Mamata Banerjee protest about it.

Palash:- CPI(M) has ruined the health and education sector of West Bengal in their 33 years tenure. How can you expect anything better from them? Have you ever visited any government hospital of Kolkata? I have visited those places. The patients are treated like animals. Even there are no power back-ups also. I have seen major operations being stopped in the middle of it due to power cuts. What to say about the hygienic condition inside the government hospitals of Kolkata. You will feel as if you are entering a morgue. Really, it’s a shame on CPI (M) government of Bengal.

Arindam:- Forget about CPI(M), INC, TMC and other political parties. All political parties are of same category. They want to do business in every sphere of the society in the name of politics. The buck stops at the doorstep of Kolkata doctors and nurses. I really wonder whether their medical degree is original or a fake one. The medical education system of Kolkata requires a strong vigilance as well as restructuring. I have heard that many doctors pass the medical examination by cheating papers or buying question papers from some traitors.

Rakesh:- Oh! Everyone knows that the junior doctors of Kolkata are good for nothing. They only know how to conduct strikes and how to harass the patients who require emergency treatments. Basically, these doctors have become businessman like Shylock rather than doctors. Those days are gone when a dacoit also used to vow his head in front of a doctor. Nowadays, the doctors vow their head in front of their patients to indirectly snatch money from them like the dacoits. That is, the doctors have become dacoits now instead of saviors. By the way, what are the symptoms of Swine flu?

Palash:- There will be rashes in your body as if you are having allergy. You will have a running nose. You will suffer from a viral fever. That’s all.

Arindam:- I think that you missed out one deadly symptom of H1N5 virus. The virus attacks the lungs. If you delay in your treatment of Swine flu, then your lung cells will totally be destroyed and you will expire. The vaccine of swine flu is out in the market, but, I really wonder why West Bengal government is not taking any initiative to bring that vaccine in their state. Generally, a vaccine of a disease is created after the 6 months of the outcome of that disease. There is also a lack of initiatives from the people of Kolkata. Last year, when swine flu was spreading in India, I was in Hyderabad. Really, those south Indian people never waited for any politicians or doctors. They took the initiatives to spread the awareness about swine flu by suggesting everyone to wear masks. That’s why; I like those South Indian people. They never wait for anyone’s help. They do it by themselves. But look at the people of Kolkata. They will wait for Mamata Banerjee or Buddhadev Bhattacharya to take some initiatives to prevent the spread of swine flu. This is the problem with Bengali people. You always have to chase behind them to make them work.

Rakesh:- Hmm…from tomorrow onwards, I will also wear masks or handkerchief to prevent my nostrils from H1N5 virus because who knows, the “SWINE FLU IN KOLKATA” can become a deadly one.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

PERSEVERANCE AND STRONG DETERMINATION WITHIN YOU, LEADS YOU TO SUCESS !!!

Nancy: - Your son is still jobless! Oh! It’s so sad! My son, Rony is working in Australia. I will give you my son’s email id. Tell your son, Sanjay to forward his resume in Rony’s email id. Rony will refer Sanjay’s name in that company. After all, I am your school friend. I feel very pity on you, whenever I see you so much depressed and worried about your bachelor son. Your son is basically a useless nut. After graduation, your son is trying to get a government job. 1.5 years has passed after his graduation. He is yet to get a government job. How sad! Look at my son Rony. Just after graduation, he met with the Father Richards of our Catholic Church. Father Richards told Rony to forward his resume to Monica, the HR manager of an Australian IT firm. Monica took a telephonic interview of Rony and then told him to come down to Sydney. Now, my son is working as a Process Associate in that Australian IT firm. Tell your son to meet Father Richards also. Father Richards is a nice man.

Meenakshi: - Why don’t you accept the fact that your son has got a job in Australia because you all have converted yourself to Christianity from Hinduism. I know these Christian missionaries people. They convert Hindu people by giving them money and jobs. In our school, your name was Nandini and now your name is Nancy after you converted yourself to Christianity. Sorry, Nancy, at least, my son will never sell his religion to get a job. It is better to remain jobless as a Hindu person rather than becoming a Christian to get a job. When Sanjay was a kid, he was denied admission in St. Lawrence School, but, your son Rony got the chance to study in that school, though, my son gave a better interview than your son.

Nancy: - Come on, Meenakshi. This is a competitive world. At the end of the day, you have to survive. Who cares about religion and faith! Everything is fair in love and war. Our daily life is a warzone only. Everyone in our locality is saying that your son is a complete failure. Your son has 76% marks in graduation and my son has only 52% marks in graduation. But, my son is rocking in Sydney and your son is sitting at home as an unemployed parasite for your family.

Meenakshi: - at least, I can see my son every day in my own house. You only get money order from your son, but, you cannot even touch your own son every day as he is in Australia now.

Nancy: - So? What? At least, I can feel proud in front of the society people that my son is in Australia. People respect me. At my back, people whispers, ‘Do you know this lady? She is a lucky mom. Her son is in Australia now and working in a MNC.’ People just laugh at you or even don’t look at you also because your son is a total failure. Still there is time, Meenakshi. You people get yourself converted to Christianity. I assure you that within 2 months, our Father Richards will give your son a job in Australia or even in USA or UK. Don’t think that I am adding pinch of salts on your wounds. Also, I hope that you will not try to commit suicide after hearing my harsh words. Nowadays, it has become a fashion for the depressed people to commit suicide and Policemen arrests those people who are responsible for the suicide of those depressed people. Believe me, there is nothing in India. This country would have prospered well if it remained under British people only. My son Rony says that the life is very easy in foreign countries like Australia, UK and USA.

Meenakshi: - Then go and live in Australia, UK or USA! Why the hell are you living in India if you hate this country? Nancy, always remember one thing that your motherland is your motherland only. You are just having an illusion that the people in Australia, UK and USA are having a happy life. They are also struggling like us to earn their living every day. Humans always have a wrong perception that it is always greener on the other side of the river, though it is not. Anyway, leave me on my own way. I don’t know whether my son will ever get a job or not, but to get a job, we will not sell our religion and faith. Also, my son is not going to leave his motherland at any cost. My grandfather was a ‘Swarajya movement’ activist. When I was a child, he used to say, ‘It is very easy to become a refugee in any foreign land and work as a slave there, but, it is that much difficult to protect your own motherland from those intruders who wants to conquer your motherland. Never let those foreigners to destroy the culture, religion and traditional values of your motherland at any cost.’ Nancy, though you have taken birth as an Indian, but, you have sold yourself to those Christian missionaries’ people. You are now a slave of Vatican City of Europe.

*************************************************************

Mr. Sansani: - It’s a breaking news. Within this month only, 5 Indians have been killed in Australia due to racial attacks. The external affairs minister of India, Mr. S M Krishna has requested the Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd to look into this matter of racial attacks and take strong actions against those culprits.

*************************************************************

Meenakshi: - Yeah, now, Australians have started killing the Indians. Yesterday, Nancy was saying that it is a very easy life in Australia. There is no problem for an Indian living in that country. I am very happy that the Indians living in Australia are either getting attacked or killed.

Sanjay: - Oh! Mom, why are you so happy about it? You are also an Indian and those who are getting killed in Australia are also Indians. Why the hell do you talk with that bloody woman, Nancy? She is jealous on us. Every time she will make some comments about me and you will show your frustration inside the house. What she said about me, yesterday? I am damn sure that she has told something about me.

Meenakshi: - She just told me that you are my useless son and like a parasite for our family. Look my son; you have tried a lot to grab a job in government sector. For 1.5 years, you have been trying for that, but, you have failed in every attempt. Just look for any job in BPO or in any small company and start earning money. It is better to have something rather than anything. The Indian society people never give respect to a family, where a boy is totally unemployed. Get a job from anywhere, no matter, even if you get very less salary in that job. At least, I will be able to say to the Indian society people that my son is doing a job in a small company rather than sitting in the house as an unemployed fellow.

****************************************************************

Vineet: - Hey, Sanjay, have you checked the website of Allahabad Bank? They have declared the result of PO exam. My roll number is there in the list. Have you checked yours?

Sanjay: - I have failed to crack the written exam. This is my 16th time that I have failed to crack in any written exam. I don’t know what to do. I am totally confused. I should now look for a BPO job. I think that getting a government job is not my cup of tea. I thought that after getting training from George Telegraph institute, I will be able to crack the written exams but all went in vain. I have wasted 15,000 bucks in George Telegraph.

Vineet: - Arrey, yaar, don’t lose your hope. Tomorrow, there is a special class in George Telegraph. You are coming, naah? Ok, I will see you there tomorrow.

******************************************************************

Prof. Savarkar: - My goodness! You people are totally looking frustrated. Cracking a competitive written exam is not a very easy task because here you have to compete with at least 2-3 lakhs of candidates. Even for a difference of 0.25 marks from a candidate, your rank may be behind by 5000 than that candidate. Training institutes like Banking Services Chronicle, Mahendra’s Institution, Indian Institute of Banking Services, George Telegraph and others can only guide you but ultimately it is only you, who have to fight the battle.

Sanjay: - I am fighting with all my weapons but still I am not winning the battle. When I lose in any battle, the people of the society are passing comments at me.

Arindam: - He he he…yes, Sir. This is the truth. If you are unemployed in India, then all those bloody rickshaw-pullers pass comments while rubbing ‘Raja Khaini’ on their palms, as if, they are big officers of big MNCs. Even I have seen many ‘Bekaar Spoilt Brats’ sitting on the benches of their club house and giving lectures about job market scenario as if they are the great economists of India.

Prof. Savarkar: - Ha ha ha…first of all you have to understand that why those fellows are passing comments. Who are they? They are neither the people who have struggled for jobs nor do they know the meaning of the word ‘Struggle’. That’s why; they always make those comments. But, you know that you have to fight and struggle to get a job. So, just ignore those losers and their bullshit comments. The corporate people always help those jobseekers who are struggling and fighting to grab jobs.

Vineet: - Sir, it is not always true. There are many people in the corporate world who always play politics with the jobseekers, especially the lady HR managers. Recently, I have cracked the written exam of Allahabad Bank. I have also received the offer letter of Union Bank of India as an Assistant IT Manager. Now all those bloody lady HR managers are calling me for interviews by saying that, ‘Your job profile is just too good. You deserve to fit in any big MNC with a good job role.’ 8 months ago, those same HR ladies only told me that my profile does not even suit for any small corporate also. Then, why the hell are they calling me now? It is as if those bloody HR ladies broke my one leg to make me a physically handicapped person. Now, when I have boarded a bus, they are saying, ‘Wow! You are looking great as a lame man. We knew it that you will board the bus. That’s why; we have kept a separate seat reserved for the physically handicapped people like you.’

Arindam: - He he he… These HR ladies need some hard beatings from jobseekers like us; otherwise, they will not stop playing politics. Even you will be stunned to see the attitudes of those girls sitting at the reception centers of some placement consultancies. Those girls have less educational qualifications than us and they show such attitudes as if they are the CEO of a company. A sex worker standing in a brothel has much better attitude than these girls of different placement consultancies.

Prof. Savarkar: - Why should you people be so bothered about them? Boss, this is human life. Human life is a war-zone. People will bully you, do politics with you, they will even try to kick you out from the competition, they will even stop your promotion out of jealousy, some will even spread rumors inside the office so that you don’t get a good appraisal in the next quarter. These are quite common. Everywhere there is politics. Even Guru Dronacharya did politics with Eklavya in Mahabharata. With whom will you fight to end the corruption? This is India, where 76% people of the population are corrupted, be it in any field. When Charles Darwin said about ‘Survival of the fittest’, everyone laughed at him, but later when the human population started increasing around the world, the people regarded the theory of Charles Darwin as a valid one. This is a competitive world. Whenever you are trying to get a job, feel within yourself that you are going to fight in a war, where the person sitting just next to you is your competitor and you have to kill him at any cost. If you cannot kill him, then he will kill you. In a war, it is a one –way traffic. You cannot march backwards. You have to march forward to destroy the enemy. There can be only two results in a war. Either you are alive or dead. If you are alive, you win and if you die, you lose. Think it this way. Whenever you fail in any competitive exam, feel that you have died then and there only. I am talking about mental death not the physical one. On the very next day start from the scratch. Try to figure out about what went wrong in your strategy. Learn from your mistakes and rectify it as early as possible because you have to go for the next war again.

Sanjay: - Sir, every time, you give these lectures. But, when will I get the winning result? I am totally frustrated now. I am looking for a BPO job now.

Prof. Savarkar: - That’s the problem with you Bengali boys. Bengalis will try for 5 times and if they gets defeated in all their 5 attempts, they will not try that thing again. But, who knows, maybe, in the 6th attempt, they would have won the battle. Have you not heard that story of a spider who tries to climb up for 6 times and failed but in the 7th attempt, it succeeded. By seeing that spider, a General got the motivation to declare the war for 3rd time against his enemies and won that battle. Boss, learn to kill your competitor like a sniper. Learn to walk on their dead bodies to achieve your goal. Feel that you are walking bare-footed on a path, which is full of burning charcoal. Then only, you can taste success. There are many shortcut methods to achieve success, but, the success achieved through your true struggle and hard work is sweeter than anything in this world. Even no amount of money can buy that sweetness. That sweetness lies in your heart as a superb mental satisfaction to be cherished for your whole life.

Arindam: - but, Sir, feeling like a warrior and fighting like a warrior are two different things.

Prof. Savarkar: - No, they are not so different. If you cannot reach that mental state where you cannot regard yourself as a warrior of the society, then where from will you get the inspiration and strength to fight physically in any war. You mentioned about Royal Bengal Tigers many a times in your articles, but, do you know what makes a Bengal tiger a royal one. It is only for their passion and spirit to fight back when their chips are down and out. Show that to the world that Bengal is a land of Royal Bengal Tigers. Even our Chatrapathi Shivaji taught us that no matter what happens, you should not mentally lose a war. There will be fire everywhere but still you have to walk through it to protect your motherland from your enemies. That is why; still today, when a Maratha like me shouts ‘Jai Shivaji’, automatically, our blood becomes hot and we feel like warriors of India to protect our Hindu motherland. Also, I like to say another thing, especially to Arindam. Take my words. A talented person cannot have more than 2-3 good friends. Don’t think that having so many friends in the friends list of a social networking site is a blessing power for you. Rather, it is a curse for you. When you become a successful person, you will find many friends in the disguise of enemies. But, in the times of danger, you will find only 2-3 close friends to motivate you for winning the war.

Arindam: - How funny! So, you want to say that a warrior should not have friends.

Prof. Savarkar: - A leader or a warrior has many admirers, fans and supporters but not many friends. These admirers, fans and supporters help the leader to win the battle. The moment these admirers, fans and supporters become friends of the leader, the jealousy factor steps in, which results in mudslinging politics and ultimately these people become enemies in the disguise of friends.

Sanjay: - Sir, you are absolutely right. I have some friends who constantly de-motivate me regarding government jobs. Sometimes, I become carried away after hearing them. Sometimes, I feel depressed too.

Prof. Savarkar: - There is word in ‘Bhagvad Gita’. The word is ‘Sayiyam Shakti’. Even Lord Krishna used to say about that to Arjun while he was fighting in Kurukshetra battlefield. Always remember this basic statement of life that “PERSEVERANCE AND STRONG DETERMINATION WITHIN YOU, LEADS YOU TO SUCCESS”. Try to have these two qualities within you. That’s more than enough to win any war. Anyway, see you all in the next class, which is in the next month. Wish you all best of luck for the next competitive written exams. Goodbye for now.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

GOD HAS CREATED WOMEN AS EXCELLENT HOME-MAKERS ONLY !!!

Paritosh: - You are yet to get a job? Was there no campus recruitment in your college?

Samiran: - Only 3 companies came and kept cut-off marks as 70% throughout. I don’t have 70% in Higher Secondary.

Paritosh: - Forward your resume to my email id. Actually, I have now joined as a recruiter in XYZ Consultancy of Kolkata. Recently, MNO Kolkata has a requirement for Assistant DBA. They are looking for fresh B-Tech students with 6 months experience in Oracle SQL. Have you done any course on SQL?

Samiran: - Yeah, I have done Oracle certification and a course on the latest Microsoft SQL Server from NIIT of Camac Street.

**********

Paritosh: - Madam, for this recruitment drive of MNO, can I forward the resume of Samiran?

Gargi: - How is it possible? He has just passed out in 2010.

Paritosh: - but, madam, in the database, I can see that you have already forwarded at least 6 resumes of those candidates who are also 2010 pass out.

Gargi: - Oh! They are all Oracle certified and moreover I know them very well. Some of them are the children of my college friends. 1 of them is my niece only.

Paritosh: - This is unfair, madam. You are forwarding the resumes of your relatives and friends’ children and you are not willing to refer the resume of this Samiran who lives in our locality. Samiran is also an Oracle certified and 2010 pass out.

Gargi: - Hey, Paritosh! I am in this HR field for 15 years. You will teach me what is fair and what is unfair. Just throw the resume of Samiran in the dustbin. I am not here to do charity. I will refer those persons only, who are willing to pay me some money. Samiran is incompetent for MNO.

*************

Samiran: - Paritosh daa, have some laddoos. There is a good news. I have got a job in Oriental Bank of Commerce as a PO.

Paritosh: - Fatiye diyechish toh. Then, I have also not given you a good news. Recently, I got the offer letter from GAIL as an Assistant HR Manager.

Samiran: - Oh! So, you are not in XYZ Consultancy now. You have resigned?

Paritosh: - Uff…Don’t ask me about that consultancy. I am happy that I am not a part of that corrupted consultancy. I will intentionally give the news to Gargi madam that you have cracked a job in a PSU Bank.

**************

Gargi: - Hello! Samiran! This is Gargi calling from XYZ Consultancy. We have shortlisted your resume for the post of Assistant DBA in MNO. We called you for the Personal Interview last Saturday. Why have you not attended it? Anyway, you can come down to MNO Kolkata office on this Saturday also.

Samiran: - No, madam. I am not interested in private sector jobs now. I have heard from Paritosh daa that you threw my resume in the dustbin 8 months ago. Then, why are you re-considering my resume? Is it to regain your self-prestige? We hate you such HR lady. Thanks for calling. Goodbye.

**************

Arindam: - You are not going to marry Sunita? Why? You are also a HR manager and she is also a HR manager.

Paritosh: - You should never marry a HR lady. She will ruin your life by playing politics with your family members.

Arindam: - Hmm…that’s true! HR is not the cup of tea for women though they shout that HR is for them only by giving lectures on glass-ceiling. A male HR manager always takes neutral decision with the vision of profitability for the company but a female HR manager takes partial decisions based on her personal choice to ruin the healthy environment of the company. A male HR manager always shouts at his employees during business losses but also advices them about how to improve the business in the next quarter. A female HR manager will always give plastic smiles and play politics with the employees without giving any fruitful suggestions to improve.

Paritosh: - Why don’t they understand that “GOD HAS CREATED WOMEN AS EXCELLENT HOMEMAKERS ONLY”. Why the hell these women become HR manager of the companies to ruin the business? Indian companies need to reduce the number of female HR managers. These unprofitable female HR managers are the liabilities for a company.